I'VE BEEN THERE, NOT GONNA GO THERE AGAIN

My brain's gonna explode now! I actually don't know what to write, but this is one hell of a day, I can't sleep again without writing anything. So, I just played Beyonce's IRREPLACEABLE over and over again while trying to look for words that will surely fit to what I'm feeling right now.

I don't feel rebellious, and I'm not one. You're so wrong dear. I've been there and I'm not going there again, not anymore. I can't afford to be aloof and away from myself for one more time. You once define me as REBELLIOUS and I'm saying now you're wrong. Maybe with how I live my life before, but not anymore. I'm saying it once again. Try to look at yourself and what you've just done. You screwed up almost everything for just a night for a mistake I've done.(well, I can't even call it MY MISTAKE...) I have no idea where you are right now. You're not even answering my calls. I'm not hearing anything from you and it's so crazy I can't close my eyes to sleep. This is sure guilt I'm feeling inside. In fact, I've already shed tears for what happened. No, it's not my fault. I don't even have the slightest idea that you were there and I shouldn't be feeling this conscience thing. I know you will understand and I guess you should understand. I'm sorry to say this but I hope that slap from a cop will wake you up of what you did.

This doesn't sound like a simple issue. Don't know what dramatic apology I am gonna be doing just to give you peace of mind and comfort after what happened. You might be with your bestfriend right at this moment, that might sound stupid but the most possible ,right? She's been the one your sharing your flaws with eversince...even before my existence in your life.

The song that's playing right now doesn't seem to fit my mood. Hahahaha! Such a funny thing, I played Rihanna's TAKE A BOW. The more it didn't fit. Well, these songs just made me feel a li'l lighter though head's kinda heavy.

You're more than a man with your age and I know you can clean the mess you've made. I'm gonna clean mine as well, of course. Everything's gonna be put back in place coz WE ARE NOT REBELLIOUS! ayt?

DO WE STILL BELONG TOGETHER?

BAnD INFLUENCE

*** Posted April 18, 2007 , Wednesday, as my entry for Maria Eleanor Elape Valeros' HUGYAW FAN ZONE (BAnD INFLUENCE) in Banat News. Influencing every Cebuanos to contribute to the fast spread of Bisaya Rock in Cebu, showing the simple way of patronizing our own products of talent and creativity.



"...liko's tuo padung Jones Avenue, you gotta say it cool..." Mao kini ang lyrics sa kantang "Lakbay-Lakbay" sa Missing Filemon nga akong nadunggan sa jeep nga akong gisakyan sayo sa buntag padung sa trabahoan. Gisundan dayon kini ug "...ang among balay, ang among atop...kay ang atong kinabuhi lingin..." ug ginuntan sa "...oh estambay! Dili mangita'g away..."

Hilom akong nakatawa ug nabuhian nako ang usa ka timi nga pahiyom nga mikulit sa akong bayhon pagkadungog sa maong mga kanta, samtang nakita usab nako ang konduktor sa jeep nga bibo kaayong nisabay pagkanta.

Dili na gayod ikalimod ang dali nga pagsikat sa lahi nga genre sa musika, lumad gikan sa Sugbu- ang BISROCK. Duha pa lang ka tuig ang paghari niini dinhi sa dakbayan apan nakuha na niini ang interes ug ang kasing-kasing dili lang sa mga Sugbuanon kundili lakip na usab ang ubang mga tawo sa laing dapit.

Ang pagsugod ug ang kalamboan sa Bisrock akong nasaksihan. Nagtungha pa lang ako sa kolehiyo sa dihang unang migimaw ang mga matawag nga pioneering bands sa Bisrock- Aggressive Audio, Missing Filemon, Scrambled Eggs, Jimmycycle, Phylum ug daghan pa. Samtang naa kami sa akong suod nga higala sa pagkanta-kanta. Magkataw na lang sa maong mga nga nag-iyahay og pangyamiid gikaluhaan sa kahibulong kung unsang matanga sa kanta ang among gikalingawan. Sila igo lang pud sa pagpangutana, "Unsa nang kantaha, oy? Mugna-mugna sad mo dah!"

Gitubag sad namo sila sa pag-ingon, " Bisrock ni oy. Di mo maminaw ug Smash?" Apan bisan og kamo mapasigarbohon ug malipayon sa kanta nga among gikalingawan pag-ayo, sakit gihapon paminawon ilang mga pagsaway ug pagbiay-biay nga ang matang sa musika nga among gikalingawan nagpaila lang kuno sa among pagka-Bisayang dako. Nakatuaw ako, "Unsa man diay ta? Amerikano ug amerikana?"

Diha'y mga higayon nga daw sama ako sa bata nga gustong magpalaban sa mga susama nakong mga Bisrockers. Apan kadtong tanan wala nakababag sa pagpadayon nako pagtamod sa Bisrock. Mga CD collections, pagsaulo sa kanta, pagsaksi sa mga konsiyerto nga panagsa rang mahitabo ug ang wala'y palta nga pagpaminaw sa Smash FM. Matag higayon nga ako maka- "hearing sa mga umaabot nga konsiyerto sa among tulunghaan, sa hilom ilakip nako sa akong pangaliya ang aduna'y Bisrock bank nga motukar o kaha school band nga mo-"cover" og Bisrock nga mga kanta. Apan daw sa dakong sungog, kanunay usab nga mahimugso and kapakyasan.

Nilabay ang pila ka mga buwan ug nakahuna-huna na lang sad ko nga mobalik sa klase sa musika nga ako gyud nga namat-an - ang reggae. Apan bisan pa man sa akong nakab-ot nga desisyon, dili gihapon nako malikayan nga ang akong dunggan daw sandayong nga mosawod sa mga huning gipahaom sa Bisrock nga paningog. Hangtod nga inanay nakong namatngonan nga hinay-hinay nang misulbong ang Bisrock ug ingon man may mga kanta na usab nga Binisaya nga gipahaom sa paningog nga reggae.

Ang akong kasing-kasing misamot pagpitik alang sa Bisrock labi na nga nahimamat nako ang bagang duot sa mga sakop sa Bisrock Community nga sama kanako mahiligon usab sa maong matang sa musika. Usab nahibaw-an nako nga ang ubang mga banda nga sa una kantang langyaw ang tirada, karon nag-iyahay na'g mugna og mga kanta sa kaugalingon natong pinulungan. Sa mga kabalayan sa akong mga higala, kabahin na gyud ang mga Bisrock CDs. Sukwahi kaniadto nga wala gyu'y usa nga nagtipig.

Gipangandoy nako sa una nga hinaot ang akong mga kauban sa tulunghaan makasabay sa akong "mugna-mugna" nga kanta. Ug karon natuman na sa kataposan. Labaw pa ang gihatag nga katumanan kay dili lang ang akong mga kauban sa tulunghaan ang nakasabay. Lakip na karon ang akong mga kauban sa opisina ug ang uban sa nagkadaiyang lugam diin naabot ang pagsibaw sa Bisrock. Nadoble ang akong pagmaya sa dihang nasayran nako nga nagkadaghan na usab ang mga reggae bands nga nakahukom nga palamboon ang lumad nga pinulongan pinaagi sa musikang reggae.



POSTED EXACTLY AS HOW IT APPEARS IN BANAT NEWS.

BLISSFULL WEDDINGS: My Dream Weddings

And this is another day I can't sleep without writing anything. Earlier at work, Gee and I were talking about Cheska Garcia and Doug Kramer's wedding. I can see the spark in her eyes while trying to describe how nice Cheska's wedding gown was, how it perfectly fit her, and how romantic the wedding ceremony was. But she can't even find the exact adjective for that gown. She just ended up saying, " Basta search mo mamaya during break! Sobrang nice! 'di sexy pero sobrang ganda! As in!". OK. *_*
I just thought that Gee was exaggerating. She haven't experienced having any Buddies in life and probably she just got carried away about the thought of getting married. I didn't feel any excitement. HONEST! Hello, I don't even know Doug Kramer(...sorry...). But of course, I know Cheska Garcia.
Well, ang kakulitan ni Gee umiral. Later during the break, she watched the vid of their wedding. and convinced me to do the same. I was shocked. I have to be honest. The wedding gown was so nice! It was, in fact, simple yet very seductive on her. S#%$*! I then watched the whole video, too. It was such a cool wedding I considered the perfect union of a God and Goddess. They are undeniably beautiful couple. It's funny but with that short glimpse of their wedding ceremony made me fall in love again after the Santiago-Barreto Nuptial.

Check out both Santiago-Barreto and Kramer-Garcia Nuptials...



SANTIAGO-BARRETO NUPTIAL : To have and to hold







KRAMER-GARCIA NUPTIAL : Heaven Sent


Cheska and Doug SDE from Jason Magbanua on Vimeo.

NGANONG NI ENTER!

OUR VERY OWN CEBUANO RAP ARTIST, KoNIGS, ORIGINALLY FROM THE SOUTH. THEIR VERY FIRST DEBUT ALBUM "NGANONG NI ENTER!" as they consider "labor of their love to propagate Bisdak hip-hop culture".

The tracks are really AMAZING!

Read more of KoNIGS from http://pinaymangatkatay.blogspot.com/ for January 2006 entries.

CDs available @ SM Cebu

I AM BORING!

Haayy! I don't know if it's right to say I had the most boring weekend ever this week.

Saturday, I slept almost the whole day. I was in Buddy's home, though, half of the day. And the sad thing is, my monthly sickness visited me that night (and it's gonna last for 4 days or so...). And he texted me then that we can't go out for the night, his license expired. So unfortunate!

The thing is, he doesn't even sound like he's sad, affected or worried at all about us not going out tonight after 5 consecutive days of being away. And without even good communication! Am I inlove with a robot? With an insensitive, naive person?(sorry...!) Is he already "fading away", and this is just his initial step of breaking up with me?

"I am not afraid of losing you! I just don't want alibis. Don't make me feel like I'm stupid. Say it right now! Right in my face! I'll get hurt and I'll hate you for that but I would still understand. Maybe I should tell you that I'm teaching myself not to rely on you that much. You already failed me couple of times and it's enough reason, boy! But I shouldn't blame you for anything. Don't worry. I still love you and I think I can't afford hate you that much."

So now, it's Sunday but still the same thing. Still in bed after eating such delicious breakfast, not in bed though. I might get bed sores later today so I should do something reasonable before this day ends. And I ended up writing this thing then...huh! *_*

RIPPLER: YOUNG MIND

Just before I went to bed when I got home from work, I was trying to go back to some highschool memories-diaries, loveletters and cards, magazines, etc.- I found this old school mag for the S.Y. 2004-2005. There was this poem written there I never thought I made :-O. hahahaha! I don't know if I sound funny with it or what...I don't know! ;-)

I'm a woman living ordinarily,

You're a man enjoying luxury.

I'm a woman who knows no elegance,

You're a man who got all the
chance.

We are worlds apart, it's
obvious

And that made me feel
conscious.

How I wish we've got same
status

I could wear those classy
suits.

You keep on saying "I love
you"

"Nobody can stop me from seeing you
through,

If you only know how much you mean to
me,

I don't care what others would
say."

You know that I always have this
feeling

I'm deaf of what they're
saying.

I'm fighting, that's what I
know

And I'm doing this coz of my love for
you.

Disparity of status, cruelty of
fate,

Hope everything not yet too
late.

We are worlds apart and I don't
know,

If I would fight or just let this
go!

AVAIL TIME

Yes! I guess I should live life the practical way. I should see the fact that nothing in this world is constant. My friend is right, THIS IS A WORLD FULL OF MAKE BELIEFS, and shit! I don’t know what I really feel right at this moment. Don’t know if I’m mad about what he said, or should I be greatful for he made me realize on how I should deal with this relationship (it may not be his intention to do so…).

He doesn’t say that before, that made feel so surprised after reading his text message, ” LAHAT NAGBABAGO, MAY DUMARATING, MAY NAWAWALA. TANDAAN MO YAN…”

I can’t think of anything to say. I don’t know how to react in a sense that I don’t sound like begging. He beat me with that! And I was not able to reply right away. Minutes after, I just sent him this, ” THERE IT IS… I KNOW WHAT TO DO STARTING TODAY AND THE DAYS AHEAD…MEETING ADJOURN!”

And yes. Alam ko na nga siguro and dapat gawin this time. Then I realized I am just creating my own dilemma. I’m loving too much (which is no longer good) and I worry too much about things, when in fact there’s nothing to worry about!

I don’t wanna run after someone. I don’t wanna beg for time and love. And I so love my self for that.

UE's PRIDE

" Gud evnin...no i dont fel any pressure right now...i came from one of the tuff 10 ever..oh my god...hahahaha! ...
well my family's role for me is so important because there was the...dare...they was the one who...very...haha! oh im so sorry...uhm my pamily (pamily) oh my god...im im so sorry..i i told u dat im so confident...eto, uhm wait...ahahaha!uhm sorry guys bcoz this was really my pirst pageant ever...bcoz im only 17 years old ever...oh my god! and i did not expect dat i came from (i came) from one of the tuff ten. so but i said dot,my family is the most important person in my life...thank u! "

Yes. Exactly! These lines are from our Bb. Pilipinas 2008 Janina San Miguel during the Question and Answer portion. She resigned from her title just, I guess, a couple of days after.
Check this out guys. You might want to go through the lines while playing the vid below.